Sunday 21 July 2019

A short quote from Catherine Lacey's story 'The Grand Claremont Hotel'

As far back as I can remember, I've always been concerned about 'fairness' of inanimate objects or my own body parts. If I would scratch one hand, for example, as a child, I remember feeling I would have to scratch the other hand so that it wouldn't feel neglected or left out. If there were two of anything, I would have to mirror my actions on both objects for this same concern for their 'feelings' and a fear of one object or hand feeling excluded.

I don't think like this as much as I did as a kid, but I have always wondered where this urge to maintain equilibrium (where it doesn't matter) comes from. Where does the concern for the potential of hurt feelings of things without feelings come from? Even from a young age, I recognised these thoughts as irrational - to care for the feelings of objects or distinct body parts - but I've still consistently identified the thought appearing in my head to do something / perform an action to make things equal...

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