Depictions of heterosexual love and partnership have been (falsely) elevated to the highest judgment of one's worthiness in books, films and television. Faye proposes that not only have these illustrations in media set unrealistic and unhelpful expectations, but that this obsession with securing romantic love is indeed a byproduct of late stage capitalism where the nuclear family and romantic love have served as a refuge and space of leisure away from the grind of work and productivity that exhausts and alienates us. Love has become more private as a result, and has shifted away from community oriented environments where different and more diverse loves previously flourished - for example, love in lasting friendships, which has been devalued in favour of a laser focus on finding and keeping romantic love, and nurturing this love in the confines of the private domestic sphere.
I wanted to save the following page for two reasons: (1) because of its acknowledgement of the "crisis in male friendship" that has led to a rise in misogynistic views and violence against women, and (2) because of Faye's inclusion of the quote by Jo Spence, one of my favourite artists on the importance of female friendships. For Spence, it may have been "too late to be [her] mother's friend" but for many of us, the opportunity remains not only to be our mother's friend, but also that of our daughter's and to impart new teachings on ways to love.
